Petition
by HowAboutThat
Summary: Basically I decided to write a fic about one part of the musical. You'll understand the title later. Rated T... idk, paranoia? ONE-SHOT! 563 of actual story


HAT: So, every time I watch the Jellicle Ball, the part when all of them are shaking their butts, I think, "all men have lost their man card" and "I wonder how hard the people watching them laughed" and I decided to do another parody! I'm sorry to everyone mentioned in this, I don't own you or your characters, I'm just writing and posting a scenario what just so happens to be hilarious and I hope not to offend anyone and I'm just saying now, these personalities are completely made up and just go with whatever's in my head. Just a fan wanting to exercise my creative ability.

If any of the actors read this, sorry if you get offended, but if you laugh I'll be glad! I love all of you (even those not mentioned) and you did an amazing job on the DVD (hope to one day see CATS besides just the DVD) and I watch it... I won't say how often, but just know I've watched it enough to know the words... and quite a few of the dances... ANYWAY! Also, I always thought, "How on earth do they make grown men look so friggin adorable?" because you have to admit... men are supposed to be handsome or cute, not adorable. Moving on.

READ AND REVIEW!... and enjoy if you like.

**_Disclaimer: All that I will ever own in this story is the plot._**

* * *

James Barron walks with Susan Tanner (Jellylorum), going over the script and choreography, then Susan has a funny smirk and being a page or two behind her, wonders what's so funny. "What?"

"Look here, it says the males have to shake their butts," she replies, pointing to the script.

James bursts into laughter, very glad to have the part of Bustopher Jones, now. "I have to tell Tommi, he won't believe it!"

Susan follows James, who's not at all fat like his character, but rather a healthy build. The two of them come to a stop in front of Tommi Sliiden who's flirting with Kaye Brown, the one that plays his twin in this little production (Coricopat and Tantomile).

"What, James?" Tommi complains.

"Look at what Susan found in the script," James orders, holding up his own script.

Tommi takes it and reads it before his eyes go wide. "_What?! _I didn't read this in the script the first time!"

"What?" Kaye asks, reaching for the script, but Tommi quickly holds it away, embarrassed blush on his face. "Come on, I've got my own script anyway!"

Susan shows Kaye and the two laugh.

"I'm gonna talk to Webber and we're going to have a serious talk about taking this out," Tommi says.

"Taking what out?" John Patridge asks, trying to get his swagger down for his part, Rum Tum Tugger.

"This!" Tommi roars, holding up the script.

As John reads his eyes go wide. "No! Please tell me I'm not in this number!"

"You are, my friend," James replies.

"No, we've got to take this out," John says, shaking his head.

Drew Valery and Jo Gibb (Mungojerrie and Rumpelteazer) walk by and stop along with Geoffrey Garratt (Skimbleshanks), Karl Morgan (Pouncival), and Ken Page (Old Deuteronomy) to see what the commotion is about. After they're shown Jo laughs her head off with James, Susan, Ken, and Kaye while the others immediately start making a petition to stop this one part of the dance from going on. The three laughing got another petition started to keep it. Ken and James signed it to be asses because _they _didn't have to do it. Both parties went in front of Andrew Lloyd Webber and slammed down their petitions (the men angrily and the women with pure satisfaction).

"Alright, let me get this right," Webber says before pointing to one half of the room. "You want me to take this part off?"

"That's right," Jacob Brent (Mistoffelees) says with a firm nod along with the other men on one half of the room.

Webber nods and turns to the other side where there's mostly females. "And you want me to keep it?"

"Correct!" Veerle Casteleyn (Jemima) answers with a grin.

Webber sighs and counts the number of names on one then the other and he lifts up his gaze and looks between the two groups before his apologetic gaze lands on the men. "I'm sorry, but you were outvoted. It stays."

"Traitors!" Jason Gardiner (Alonzo) barks at the men that signed.

"We don't have to do the dance," Ken replies with a smug grin.

"Oh, shut it Mufasa," snaps Bryn Walters (Macavity/Plato).

Ken chuckles. "James Earl Jones doesn't get to see this."

* * *

HAT: Okay, that last bit was a little racist, but while I'm everything _but _Hispanic and Asian and Australian (whose ancestors come from England, btw, so in a way I guess I am), I feel I have full right to make that little joke.

Alabaster: You just _had _to have Skimbleshanks' name in there just once, didn't you?

HAT: Yep!

Alabaster: *rolls eyes and shakes head before pushing HAT into a black hole* Review.


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